Aayla Secura

From Darthipedia, the Star Wars Humor Wiki, currently editing over 582,970,984 articles

Jump to: navigation, search
You have new erections.
Aayla sleeping.jpg
Aayla Secura
Biographical information
Homeworld

Ryhot, err, Ryloth

Born

Wow, those breasts, um, 40 BBY

Died

She's way to hot to die! (official story is that she was shot about 56 times by a bunch of horny clones)

Physical description
Species

Twi'lek

Gender

Hot Female

Height

Sexy

Hair color

Blue Brain tails

Eye color

Green

Personal shit
Butt buddies

Feminism, A great body

Asshole enemies

Geeks and Nerds that love her

  • Squad of fucktards on Felucia
Weapon

double double

Forms of ass-kickery
  • Drool
Chronological and political information
Affiliation

Science fiction sex symbols anonymous

"Er, I…didn't quite catch that. Got…distracted…"
―The response of any person to ever speak to Aayla Secura, ever

Aayla Secura was a female Jedi who was also a Twi'lek. She is most famous for being drooled over by fanboys (and possibly some fangirls), who often had dreams of getting her in bed. However, she married non-fanboy Grover in the end and, to the dismay of the galactic populace, began to dress modestly. As she was a Twi'lek, this meant very little change in her wardrobe but the change was enough to send her followers into a spiral of despair.

Personally, I just don't see what those fanboys see in...mmm, that sexy ass... and those boobs!


Contents

[Edit] Religous Affiliation

YumYum4.jpg

Aayla Secura was born into the Cult of St. Noodlehead, the state-sponsored church on Ryloth. As a teenager she became dissatisfied with its feminist leanings and converted to G*nkism. Despite her career with the Jedi, she persisted in loyalty to it even unto death. But she didn't die! (Yes, she did die. Tough luck, fanboys. Now go get a life.)


[Edit] Clone Wars

During the Clone Wars, Aayla boosted the morale of her troops up to an unprecedented summit by undressing in the jungle. She then had sex with all the clone troopers in the 327th Star Corps, including the bitch who shot her 56 times. (Obi-Wan tried this, and it resulted in 3/4 of the clone army under his command needing replacing, after a massive spate of suicides. The other 1/4, well...Wookiee-Nookie abounded..) Needless to say when Order 66 was executed half of the star corps committed suicide, and the other half vowed revenge on chancellor palpatine. The squad that actually shot her consisted of the following:

  • Commander Bly
  • Lieutenant Dicksucker
  • Lieutenant Cunt
  • Captain Dumb shit
  • Captain BitchyAssfucktard
  • CaptainVaginasucker
  • Captain VaginaMileyCirus
  • Captain TitTalonsucker
  • That guy

Those mutha fuckers got big cocks shoved in their mouths and they died. However, that guy had sex with darth talon.


She will continue to live on in our memories and erections.

Aayla&Clone.jpg

[Edit] Family

Together, she and her fuzzy, blue husband went on to have 199 children. So, Aayla Secura might be your grandma, she just might. About her and Grover's relations...as many fanboys as there are Jax Pavans, to be precise, have wanted to "trade places with" her husband, wanting Aayla to provide some place to put their big ones. She also had sex with commander Bly, but that fucker betrayed her.

Well...below are some notable results of their relations:

And the two most notable of all...
Aayla breast-feeding her son Thrawn.
Usually images as big as this look silly and out of place.
Those legs...But face it, images of a scanty clad dressed Aayla never look silly and out of place.
WookieepediaLogoBouncing-Thumb.gif
Born without a sense of humor? We are inspired by your courageous struggle. …Just kidding. Get the hell out of here and go read Wookiepedia's "real" article on Aalya Secura.

[Edit] Sources

Personal tools
In other languages