Relations

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Two Ewoks gettin' it on.
"Good relations with the Wookiees I have! Yyyesss! Mmmmm!"
―Yoda, getting his freak on with Chewbacca
"These young whipper-snappers and their relations! When I was young we'd just divide asexually and be done with it!"
Jango's grandpa, Amoeba Fett

Relations were a biological phenomenon well-known in Star Wars canon but merely conjectured to exist by fanboys. It was inspired by certain emotional and physical reactions felt by individuals as a result of interacting with other, compatible individuals. Relations could only occur if a series of prerequisite circumstances were met; these prerequisites varied from individual to individual and were sufficiently unpredictable to give rise to the phrase "getting lucky" as a euphemism for relations.

A side-effect of having relations was the spawning of new sentients. This helped offset massive casualties incurred as a result of certain other leisure activities that were not entirely wholesome.

Contents

[Edit] Differing views on relations

Jedi frowned upon relations, blaming them for younglings. Sith were clueless about relations except when they involved asphyxiation. Twi'leks were transexuals reputed to be skilled practitioners of relations. Hutts self-combusted.

[Edit] Literature

Because of the prudish nature of the Jedi, there is little existing literature on relations. One of the surviving books is Watto's Hutta Sutra: A Guide to Mandalorian Relations. But the Mandalorians were prudes too. So it was banned everywhere in the Galaxy. Except Kashyyyk, where the Wookiees used it as a Handbook of Death.

[Edit] Known practitioners of relations

The typical result of sex.
"Despite your attitude, you're kinda cute. What do you say huh, your place or mine?"
Han Solo trying to score with Leia just after they escaped from the Death Star


[Edit] Sources

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